Before i rant about my day the following is some fast fact about the bbq pork that u guys are eating for cny

I was happily munching on my fav cny food bbq pork...

den my bro came and he said .. " I cant imagine u are eating that!! u know how is it made? "

He goes on and say

"you know these mother pig and father pig after they give birth to baby pigs they are considered useless..
so they are killed and left to decompose.. after leaving the dead pigs for a few days ..not wanting to wwaste these pigs they took it cut it and put loads of salt presavatives and some other stuff to hide the decomposing stench ... DEN THEY STORE IT UP AGAIN... until liike 3-4 mths later ..they took it out .. and start bbqing that pork ... and thereafter they store it and keep it again ...till customer want to buy they take it out and bbq that pork and sell to u "..

i threw that piece of pork i have straight away..


alright back to the topic ...


I FEEL MY THIS CNY IS SO SCREWEDDD!!!!!


firstly after my reunion dinner i got a super bloated stomach..
i felt so full and uncomfortable...
becuz of that i could not sleep..!
still ard 4am i start having runs..
went in and out of the toliet 5 timesSS!!!
i puke i shit..
till i felt that there was no food left and i felt weak all over. ..
i went back to slp..

i woke up at 12pm feeling worst!!!!
glup down loads of water bath and get ready to go over my grandma place ALONE!!! (NOT WITH MY FAMILY)

i went over..
greet one another happy cny ... took these angbaos with a big smile!!..
den after went to have a light lunch cuz i dont have much appetite..
den went to the sofa..
and i sat there for the rest of the day =.=...

my relatives and family always have the habit of gambling during cny..
so this year is no exception..

AS FOR MI ...
i got to kick that habit..
cuz i dont want to waste blessings from god..

IT WAS TOUGHHHH!!!!
SO TOUGHHH

i was all alone trying to get rid of the habit of gambling all by myself!!!..

everyone was so engross with it..
i feel so ignored feel so left out ..
ARRRGGHHH!!!!!!!

no one to talk to i stare at the tv..
at times i stuff myself with tibits..

i cant believe they gamble all the way till night ..
goshh!!!!..

i feel so IGNORED IGNORED..

all they did was "hey ah chye are why nvr gamble..?
gamble la
one year once . take out 10 dolalr gamble la ... small amt"

i force my self to smile and them and said nah

at around 6+ there was this chinese show..
its was kinda interesting ..
and i thought i got somethign to do..

DEN

while watching halfway..
my uncle took the controller .. and swtich it to channel 5 and say "LOOK HARRY POTTER"
den he nvr swtich back and place controller some dist away form mi ..

i was pissed.
i was stunned.
i sat there for a few mins ..
and tell myself .. "THATS IT ! I AM LEAVING".



what a family i have..

how to influence my family to become christ like?
gosh i really dont know..


i feel so sick..
i feel so ignored..


dam .. what a screwed cny

Ps : " Guys if i happen to msg anyone of u .. that contains a question inside .. which i mean i end of the sentence with a ? .. i wld seriously expect a reply .. THANKS"

<3 9:47 PM

Friday, February 16, 2007

This is going to be the longest entry i ever blogged...

In the past i used to think lowly about myself , due to my family and the friends i had. I dont have much confidence and had quite a low self esteem. That period of time (not a christian yet) i wld cry out to god .. why ? why does it alwayws have to be mi ? why am i always destined to walked the longer and tougher part of life be it in family , dance , studies .. i experienced the worst..

i always been stuck with that kinda thinking ever since..

till ..

one night ..

when a good bro of mine told mi this.. " Khye i really look up to you"


this fews words pierce through my heart and i realise god's destiny for mi ..

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Well the past fews weeks ..

i learned many things that helps mi to really secure a future..
remember the post that i really wannt to rise up in terms of maturity?
i been praying abt it and truely god spoke to me through many people about how am i going to do it ..


Visions , Dreams , Goals

Through ryan and daniel , i learn the importance to really set goals in life . define a time span and really go all out to achieve it ..
---------

It happen when i was having a interview with daniel for my school project after my interview i talked to him and ask him if i want to start out a career as a professionally dancer what do i need to do?

This is what he said ..

"you need to take some time , seat down and re-evaluate yourself in terms of our height , looks , your abilities your weakness and strength , den define a time span and really work hard on it .. further ur strength , work on your weakness.."

"to really set dance as a career in sg is tough . It require great discipline and a never stop learning attitude. always be humble , focus on ur passion and not clinging on tough moments. You need to really give your best and be the best in order to shine in sg's dance industry"

Den i ask him if serving in mdc for ns is a good choice?den ryan came along ..
and he gave mi loads of reasons why i shouldnot join mdc and really go for a good training in the army..i wont be listing out his reasons in case any mdc peeps manage to browse through my blog lol. but his bottomline was .. go in ns be a real man and train your endurance .. push and stretch your limits.

Then he was talking about that he is able to see a seed of a person den predict his harvest..

for example..

when daniel was starting out overdrive ..
he saw his potential and he forsee his winning of overdrive..
that why he was always forcing him to really break out of his limits and true enough daniel worked hard for it and he clinch the title..

den i ask him what do you see project o now den?

his reply was " A group of very slack dancers"

i was stunned ..

den he said " If i were you in project o . i will make sure at the end of it . kenny will ask mi to do shows kenny will ask mi to join ocrew."

I realise what he meant..

its all about setting a goal , a vision in mind..

den he continued

"Its not about getting techniques right , getting the ascent , going for many class its all about having a purpose for your hardwork , define a time span and really go all out to achieve it den all will be added in the process such as discpline yourself , set a schedule and plan your time."

he told mi that we lack a focus , we are just doing cuz we are asked to do , we are like dancers without soul , dont know why we are dancing , dont know if its really our passion to dance or is it just a sudden interest in it ..

As he said before we need a spirit of excellence in everythings we do be it in our studies or our carreer. If you guys (i meant projecto) give up halfway just like this not going further how can u guys be sure that when u found ur real career or passion you guys wont give up halfway too?

In project o i heard many complaining that they got no time for this no time for that . have to really concentrate on studies .and that. i been putting too much focus on dance. or i see someone flaring getting irritated by dance , got so fed up of dance and just lost the temper..

Guys . Its not about brooding over tough moments , getting fed up over not able to catch step , or putting outside emotions problems into your dance or getting complacent at the level you guys are now in .. or rather thinking that you are being left out or whatsoever ... cant you guys just put all the effort from brooding over such stuff to really focus and work on your dance?

we are not called to be in projecto by chance .. its a destiny arranged by god .. through this projecto god wanan us to get something out of it and not give up halfway due to other commitments . god dont put u through this just to torture u , see u getting so fed up , make u tired , that is so not god doings.

u guys must be clear that we are at the age of sowing ...we need to endure all this hardship so that we will have a better future .. that why .. setting a goal in our dance is important... its not abt oneself achievement .. each and everyone of us can set a goal ...but is its all about a team ! a vision ! a projectO's vision what we wanan be ? .. what we wanan achieve? how we are going to penetrate the marketplace ? what do we see as a whole ,1 yr down the road?

well thats all i want to say about project O.

Now its really time for mi to set goals .. and achieve it !!..

no more slacking around waiting for things to happen .. no more of saying and not doing .. I AM GOING TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN!..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Relationship

The next aspect of life i learned a lot is relationship..

Through this book . I learned that in a relationship we got to have a purpose. We got to know where we are heading .

It not about telling each other i love u and just get through day by day thinking that love can conquers all and when problem strikes both keep quiet about it afriad to tell each other how they feel .. accmulate all the anger , sadness and let it all out at one blow when its beyond endurance ..den the relationship end just like this ...

If you want to get into a relationship the purpose is MARRIAGE!! There is no point getting into a relationship and yet fooling around , not wanting to settle down..

A couple has got to really flow in the same vision and that is marriage..

In a relationship .. both have to be really transparent about how they feel about each other .. We should not be hiding our feelings .. For eg. A girl really wanted the guy to do this and this on vday and when the guy ask the girl "so its it okay if we dont have any grand celebration on vday" the girl just said yes but in her heart was pure dissapointment..
that isnt the right way to be in a relatinship.. Both have to know what they expect what they want . what is their love language and see if both really match in these areas ... and whether any of them cld sacrifice to change to suit each other's expectations

And most impt in any relationship it is very important to have god in the center . For u seek him first everything will be added onto u ... things might seem impossible will turn possible with him ..

On feb 12 . We both have a good talk .. I told her what i really want from this relationship and that i am tired of getting in and out of relationship .. and if we are to start one .. we must be constantly working towards marriage and a god centered relatinship...

I am glad that she took the first choice..

The future might seem bleak . might seem tough .. but ..
As we take one step at a time holding hands together with god..
nothing will be impossible for us ...
so whats if we are still young?
at least we have a focus point to work to now..
so we lift it all up to god..
if its meant to be ..
let nothing breaks us up...
holyspirit guide us ...

Yesterday's service was a confirmation that we are being lead by god...and i praise god for that...

P.s This year's valentine was the best ever!!..

<3 1:36 PM

Friday, February 09, 2007

Praise god..

for i am learning to control..

will not let history happen again..

if it was meant to end one day ..

i make sure it is a good ending

<3 10:35 AM

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

woohooo..

looks like projo training got tougher!!

yesterday we had loads of jazz trainings...

man ryan class is super scary..

he teach across the floor super fast that u really have to force yourself to focus and catch the steps..

his routine is fantastic too..

did lots of jumps and turn ..

till my legs are kinda aching now lol!!

he make mi realized how lousy my jazz is ..

need to buck up on the techniques and my posture!!..

jump HIGGGHHH!!! and HOLDDDD!!!!

gosh really need to practise my jazz.... arrrrghhh been concentrating too much on routines..

wanan get out of the beary form zzzzzzzz


---------------------------------

some random tots..

there is a particular person that is getting on my nervess grrrrrr!!!

<3 5:03 PM

i got a boring school life -_-"

<3 4:25 PM

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

hello khye.. jia you jia you!

<3 4:50 PM

Saturday, February 03, 2007

For the first half of the day 2feb2007.

i was practically stonning the whole time..

FALL asleep so many times during miss chan lecture lol,was awoken many times by "sharolene and gang" giggles and THNKS for that paper with a drawing of a pig!lol.

On my way to expo .. i seriously thought i wouldnt make it lol..
am so tired , am so sleepy and was praying hard that i wont fall alseep during Pastor Ulf preaching.

i even doze off while waiting for svc to start =.=..

BUT!

when we started the praise and worship..

man i could feel the replenishment of energry inside mi .. and i was wide awake throughout the whole svc all thanks to god's strength!

PRAISE GOD..

-----------

Pst Ulf preaching was FANTASTIC..
He preached about god wanting to place his hand in your life , and god wants to bless u .

Hand of god --> Favour of god --> Blessings of god.
God --> Center of your life --> blessings --> better life.

He makesyou realise how great it is to be living with god in your life..
and tells u how much more god can pour his blessing upon u ..
and really guides ur path to a life full of fufillment and happiness.

I love the way he preaches ..
comical , thunderous voice , u wld really feel like god is speaking though him!
u cld really see the deep relationship he have with god...

u cld feel that the whole chc attendees was so endulge in his preaching..
i give up copying notes at the 2nd half of the svc . to really listen and understand whats is he trying to deliever..

and true enough ..

It was a great msg and it impacted mi ..

Eph1:3

in conclusion
God is not going to tell you everything..
he wants you to trust him.
to follow him.
to follow his word.
and he will lead u and guide u to a life full of blessings , breakthrough , satisfaction and happiness..


indeeedd..

GOD IS GREAT
Praise god..
thank u jesus

<3 11:42 AM